"Jacqueline Koh
Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting around for somebody to give you flowers"

Thursday, October 1, 2009 || 8:00 AM

During work just now, i nearly fainted. I felt really weak, but i kept it to myself.
I asked my friend teasingly though, how she'd react if i fainted right in front of her.
She said she'd carry me and bring me home. I said she won't be able to take my weight. She said she'd piggyback me instead and bring me home. I said she doesn't know where i stay. She paused for awhile and said she'd piggyback me and bring me to her home. I laughed, and felt better. I think i'm a very blessed kid, in a loving family with the best mother ever. I never had to encounter with any financial problems aside from overspending my pocket money, i had almost whatever i wanted, whatever deemed acceptable and okay in my parent's eyes. When i had a conversation with another colleague beside my counter, i asked her how she spent her offday and she said she was busy doing household chores, taking care of her husband who is unfortunately sick and just went through a bypass surgery. She said she thanked heavens that she bought insurance or else she'd be down on a huge debt. She also whispered to me that she would be buying a 2 for $17 tee shirt(sales) as a treat for her husband and she'd also be buying fish; a dish which is considered a luxury for her because she just got a government monetary grand for low income families. When i was talking to her, i was also talking to someone else -- myself. I was telling myself to look at this lady and reminding myself not to take things for granted.

Today, during breaktime, i bought food from home again. Really i don't know how to explain the heartache and warmness which was filling my heart simultaneously. Heartache because i never really appreciated all these, i always thought that bringing food to school/work is so aunty. The tupperware, and the utensils and all. I was feeling the ache for myself, how much i've been missing out. Warmness, need i explain more? :) Oh yes, a few days back, i went to the library, i knew that i already had four books on loan - the maximum. I always have a book lugged in my bag. It's a habit. Sometimes when i get in a reading mood in a long busride or where-ever, i can just whip it out and have a good read. It's as good therapy as music. As usual, i scanned through the shelves, for a catchy title or bookcover - i judge a book by it's cover, literally >.<I managed to land my hands onto a Jodi Picoult novel and this book titled ' Perks of being a wallflower'. Both books of which I've been looking for a nong nong long long time, so it's like a treat for me. A sweet treat, delight to the eyes and soul and mind. I walked very very fast to the borrowing counter and then i suddenly remembered that I can't borrow any more books. I stunned for awhile and walked very very fast to the shelves and hid the books behind some other books. And then i walked very very fast to drop the book in my bag so that i could borrow one of those godlike awesome book. I borrowed the Jodi Picoult novel and settled down in some out of place corner of the library and read the other book. After about 90 mins or so i started to feel a little restless, and i really wanted to lie down and read. Yeah, lie down in the library and make myself comfortable (excluding stares which will most probably be shot) - which i did! So i laid on the library's floor and finished the novel. HAHAHAH NO LAH KIDDING LAH SIAOOOOOOOOO i went to the borrowing counter, expecting the screen to flash a ' Sorry, but you've reached the maximum quota' but i managed to borrow the book! I've no idea why hee hee ^_^ Both books are really good!!!

Okay lah i realized i type alot .... i usually aren't this long winded and i don't bother like ... type so much in my blog but i feel like typing today and i like seeing the words come out as my fingers move on the keyboard. Quite cool ah hahahahahaha maybe i like this font. I mean come on, if its some sucky font like comic sans or something i'd stop immediately but hahahahaha i keep typing leh...........