"Jacqueline Koh
Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting around for somebody to give you flowers"
February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 February 2013 June 2013 June 2014 January 2015 April 2015

Tuesday, July 13, 2010 || 7:37 AM

People refuse help because they feel that their self esteem depends on their being 'independant'. We fear that somehow or other we have been diminished because we need,want, and desire another person's help. That's because of our indiviualistic, independant culture. We have a sense that we should be like the mythical cowboy. Free, easy, able to do anything, able to take on and conquer anything and live in the world without the need for other people. The Lone Ranger type. We don't allow ourselves to develop a sense of interpersonal needs. And that, is very unfortunate. Because in truth, we need each other more than we know. These needs are very great on the emotional, psychological and physical level, but we tend to avoid exposing it like the plague.


As i grow up, i meet new people, and some of them are pretty independent. I learnt from them and understand that doing things alone are okay. There's no need to worry about how others view you. It's okay to have lunch alone in town, it's okay to be seen alone shopping in the busiest streets in Bugis. When i was in secondary four, i told myself that it's really okay, but i wasnt utterly convinced. I still bothered about how others view me. Whenever i tell myself, maybe it really is okay. What lay behind that was also 'maybe it really is not okay.'
Probably say a year ago, maybe it's self fufillment, i dont know, but i was getting really comfortable with myself. I started doing things by myself. It felt so good, not depending on anybody. Of course friends are good company, but sometimes, humans need to have alone time (and that is, really important to me)

I've also stopped being angry with people. You know why? Because there's simply no reason why you should. Firstly, you're being hard on yourself. Secondly, everybody should always remember that nobody on earth is supposed to live up to your expectations. Yes, the ones you love disappoint you, but it's their life, it's their choice. You can't do anything about it. And you shouldn't, because it's THEIR life.
It's okay to mope around for a while, but come on, you're much better than that.
You cannot control how they feel/think, but you can do it to yourself.
Understand that some things they do is human nature. People in different parts of their lives they will want to experience/have more things. Understand that, because when it comes to yourself, it's the same thing.
I've also not been someone who likes to control another, i don't tell others what to do and what not to do. Because i've always had this mentality : If they'd do it, they will. If they don't, they won't. But i know this bo chup attitude is quite bad. Maybe i should chup abit more ...


Gonna head to bed now! Damn tired, havent been sleeping much lately.
Fuck laaaaa i craving for tom yum!!!!!