"Jacqueline Koh
Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting around for somebody to give you flowers"
February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 February 2013 June 2013 June 2014 January 2015 April 2015

Friday, November 19, 2010 || 6:28 PM


I have absolutely no idea why i am feeling so fucking pissed off.
Yes, i am super unlucky to fall sick when my friends have organized a lunch treat for me.
But i have no idea why i am feeling so mad pissed.
I bear this grudgy feeling towards my parents because they can't help ease anything, and they refuse to buy me something i NEED.
Yes i know, i'm grown up and am working and it is mindlessly lame and childish to whine about parents not forking out to buy something for me.
But i just feel so tired. Every single time something has to happen before they realize i really need something and will get them for me but by then, the peak of the purpose served will have subsided.
In my opinon, i do not feel that they are giving me enough money. I pay for almost everything myself because i feel bad seeing them whipping money out for me & when i ask WHICH I FUCKING RARELY ASK, they reply some bloody lame answers which are not fucking constructive at all like
'If you no money dont go out'
'Why do you need the money for? Lunch? Stay home eat la'
'Why you eat so much?'
Lagi worse is when they start comparing my siblings and me.
I mean fuck, i buy my entire wardrobe myself, pay for my overseas (even fucking study trip) myself. You RARELY take me to shopping trips, and whenever i go shopping with y'all, you are always willing to pay for jie jie and junwei NOT me, because you'll complain that i have too many clothes and my wardrobe is messy.
Where is the fairness in this manner?
I mean, i dont mind buying things i want myself, but things for things i really NEED & feel that is a parent's job to buy for me? You jolly well buy it for me BECAUSE YOU HAVE A FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY TO. AND I AM SICK OF ASKING FOR NEAR TO 2 YEARS.
I am only fucking 18, i am mature enough to understand you have other commitments so i try to burden your load BUT I AM NOT MATURE TO THE EXTEND TO PASS UP DEPENDING/RELYING ON YOU WHEN I FEEL I CANT TAKE THE LOAD.
I feel so sad for myself now, everytime something good happens to me, something bad will occur as well.
Fuck the two extreme ends which comes together, fucking end magnets.
I feel blind, uncomfortable and ugly.


p.s/ i love my mum deeply but i just needa rant.