"Jacqueline Koh
Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting around for somebody to give you flowers"
February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 February 2013 June 2013 June 2014 January 2015 April 2015

10 things to do before i die
Saturday, February 26, 2011 || 8:12 PM

1. Go to canada with my mum
2. Own my pair of Louboutins :}
3. Learn to play the piano
4. Make out with the person I love during autumn admist the falling brown crunchy leaves in Adelaide
5. Walk along Central Park
6. Go around places diving
7. Tell my mum I love her ....
8. See a field of sunflowers and daises
9. Make love on a forest floor
10. Head to third war countries and help less fortunate people.

Friday, February 25, 2011 || 11:55 PM


|| 8:11 PM

This post would mainly compromise of pictures stored in my phone. I'm someone who doesn't own a digital camera, & when I take pictures using my phone, it's either the subject is very unglam, funny, or I feel very blessed (may it be the people, events, opportunities, gatherings)
or it's just something I thought would be worth the 2 second shot.

It's fucking random.













:D

Wednesday, February 23, 2011 || 8:11 AM

Timecheck : 12.11AM, Location : Changi Airport T2
Mood: Fucking sleepy and lazy
Duties: Complete 2 papers
Reality: None ticked off the checklist yet.

This week has been an emotional wrecking one, humans as we are.
Enough said, right?
Kai very nicely gave me time off the event company I'm working to allow me to concentrate on my studies as exams are coming up in a week.
Never had a time to give my messed up brain and heart a rest, it's constantly filled with overspilling thoughts, and whats not.

I think the greatest mistake is to have my guard put down, letting an invader invade the only part of myself I can protect. The walls i've been building for a long time, why was it knocked down? Fucking hell. I feel mad at myself.
I should stop giving bits and pieces of myself to people who are obviously not worth it.
Joke.
Open up? For fuck's sake, prove that you're worth it first.

2011 isn't that great afterall. Bring back 2010 anytime please.

Was in TTSH to consult a gastric specialist , went there alone. It's nice to silently absorb an environment which is filled with emotions of both ends, - grief & joy.
The two extreme ends of the world's most feared, and the world's most delightful experience
People dying, babies being welcomed into the world.
Can you picture me sitting delightfully yet with a hint of sombre-ness having my pastries, enjoying my lukewarm soyabean milk?
I was eavesdropping on a conversation two surgeons had.
They were discussing/debating about local anesthesia.
And i bumped into a friend who is interning there.
Reminds me of Grey's Anatomy :}

When i was walking to the toilet, I saw this woman giving me a straight face, and suddenly i saw beads of tears rolling down her cheek.
I wonder.
Impactful sight. I wonder.

Denise's heading back to Aussie for her uni again, summer break's over.
Dined with her & angel at Rose Verenda, the place i swear by ;)
Awesome, as usual.
Got into her bf's jeep, the ruggard and bigger than life feeling immediately crept into my skin, and i swear i'd be the girl on this earth, who will be ruling with my pair of Louboutins zipping around in my jeep, over deserts, mountains, tracks, offroad exploring.



Thursday, February 17, 2011 || 6:46 AM

Everyone of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we will never get back again. That's part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads, there's a little room where the memories are stored. It's like our own personal library. And to understand the workings of it,we have to make new reference cards,dust things off once in a while, let in fresh air& change the water in the flower vases.

I savored this particular paragraph, inhaling them through my eyes bit by bit, only moving on to the next word when I felt that I've fully grasped the idea of what it is trying to educate the reader.
And then, I applied them to myself
Fits perfectly.

This appeared in the last few pages of the book.

And, I read it slowly, a little too slowly in fact, because I'm afraid the book might end.
And thinking of the book ending, and how I'm responding to it, it led me to a conversation I had with someone.

My tear glands are too proud. I don't release/show emotions which might deem me as weak.
But if i wasn't like that, I'd have teared.
I could feel the sourness swallowing me whole.

And then it was as if the book spoke to me,
a little room where the memories are stored
own personal library
feelings we will never get back again

It was as if the book spoke out loud to me, saying. 'Hello Jacqueline, welcome to Memory Lane.'
It was as if I was walking down the section of Jodi Picoult which I used to, but it serves no purpose because there's nothing for me to look forward there until maybe, another story is written.

But for now, I'll continue walking down other lanes.



Sunday, February 13, 2011 || 3:25 AM





xx

'Do you know where the idea of a labyrinth first came from?
It was the ancient Mesopotamians (lol sounds like hippopotamus right). They pulled out animals, sometimes humans intestines. And they used the shapes to predict the future. They admired the complex shapes of them. The prototype for labyrinths is, in a word - guts. Which also means that, the principle for the high hedges and complications are all inside of you. And this correlates to the labyrinth outside.'

Derrick drank too much the other day and left me to handle a client alone. Pretty scary, made it informal yet still maintaining the professionalism, and tadaaaaaaaaaa, I got over it! & I think I did a pretty good job :}
Great experience, hehe, Life is 10% of what happens to me & 90% of how i react to it

I'm starting to believe that sex is very important in a r/s. In today's society, people are going fast forward & hold a totally different viewpoint about many things and their viewfinders and growing bigger and less focused. People skip steps, processes, traditions and stuff like that along the same line.
I mean if they say love is mainly what keeps a r/s going, tell me one marriage which survives with the couple without sex?





Thursday, February 10, 2011 || 6:55 AM

'I'm so proud of the sun, I mean, look at the moon! It's so bright tonight!'



xxx



Gosh, I'm grinning to myself like a fool listening to this song ^_^

Sunday, February 6, 2011 || 10:01 AM



Haven't had much sleep lately.
There's so much bitterness, jealously, self destruction & selfishness around me lately.
So many couples are breaking up. So many people are facing the hard truth of someone who was once their everything, and then now, nothing.
From everything, to nothing.
So many of my friends are stranded, their safety coast far away from them, their sail boats drifting further and further. It's in sight, but you can't get hold of it, & you're constantly fighting the current of overwhelming emotions.
Do you know that it's scientifically proven that heartbreaks last for only 5 seconds?

How much can friends help? Only to a certain extend, we can preach, hammer sense in the hard or soft way, but ultimately, it boils down to each individual's level of acceptance and forgiveness.

Quoting from Mr Fizz,
When you're single, all you see is happy couples. But when you're attached, all you see is happy couples.

For all who are facing any heartaches, heartbreaks of any sorts, remember to gently nudge your heart, and ask them to lift their heavy heads up.

When you feel that it's time to let go, let go. Cliche as it might sound, who is yours, will always be yours. The fact that it is cliche proves the credibility of it :)
And remember everything takes two hands to clap, if you feel you've done your part, then it's time for you to open your eyes and see if the other party is doing the same as well.
If everything still fails in the end, at least you are able to say,
at least i've tried my best and done my part

One day, the other party will realize that they've missed the moon while counting the stars.
And by then, regretting will never be part on your list because it's somebody's else job to worry about that.

Plus, constantly trying to find distraction doesn't help in the long run. You have to grap the problem by the neck, place it in front of you and brave yourself for it.

And don't worry, there is always a season for everything. After rain comes the rainbow. After winter comes spring. After every heartbreak comes acceptance and maturity.

xxx


Yesterday night was a night filled with tears & cramps from laughing too much :}
Today I met my miss tall, tanned and lovely.
Catching up over a cup of coffee, we always do it the classic way.
Thank you for thinking about me even when you're out of town, &
Thank you for being so special to me, I love you buns.

'i miss those nights when we'll have heart to heart talks, it's a cheap excuse to go through my life story from other person's mouth. And the silences, are filled, from the soulful eyes. We understand what each other are saying even without having to converse. And we understand how it's like to be human, thats why we forgive. And thats why you're so special to me'



Friday, February 4, 2011 || 9:47 PM

Some of us goes best in pairs,
majority of us travel in packs
but a special group of us, has this wandering spirit, to feast on this ultimate stretch of seemingly endless land with their only pair of eyes, alone.

does this change along with time and maturity? In different stages of life you adapt differently and cultivate a different needs. Or is it innate?

Anyway, now I know where has really quite awesome Penang Laksa. And I can't believe it's a Caucasian who can appreciate such a dish like me.

Somebody's special day is coming.
& i stress! because i want it to be as awesome as how i formulate in my mind


I'm devising a shopping list in my mind right now!
* High Slit Maxi Skirt (Black)
* Nude/Camel/ Fur Trimmed Clutch
* MAC Lippys


Woooooooooooooshhhhhh

Tuesday, February 1, 2011 || 8:49 PM

'I am very stubborn with the people I love'
:)

30 extraordinary things going on right now
|| 8:56 AM

1. A baby is taking its first few steps without falling.

2. Two people somewhere in the world, are falling in love.

3. Somewhere, someone is admiring a breathtaking sunrise, and somewhere else, a surreal sunset.

4. A soldier of sorts is diligently fighting the fight so you don’t have to

5. Someone who suffered from a severe injury last year is back on their feet.

6. A small group of people are building something that will soon make the impossible possible.

7. Somewhere on Earth a double rainbow is stretched from one end of the horizon to the other.

8. One of the next Billboard-chart-topping musical artists is patiently rehearsing in her garage.

9. A piece of literature is being written that will eventually change your perspective on life.

10. A friend is helping a friend rise above thoughts of suicide.

11. People of various religious backgrounds are in temples, churches, mosques and other places of worship praying, wholeheartedly, for world peace.

12. An elderly couple is celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

13. Two best friends are laughing so hard that they aren’t even making any noise.

14. A firefighter is running into a burning building to rescue a perfect stranger.

15. Someone in your hometown genuinely wants to be your friend.

16. A new mom is lying in a hospital bed and holding her baby twins for the very first time.

17. Someone is taking a shower and singing happily at the top of their lungs.

18. There is someone out there who smiles when they think of a specific moment they once shared with you.

19. An alcoholic just celebrated one full year of sobriety.

20. Volunteers in major cities all over the world are working at homeless shelters caring for those who are less fortunate than themselves.

21. A high school athlete just broke their own personal record.

22. Two teenagers just received their very first kiss ever from each other.

23. Someone is hugging a friend who desperately needs it.

24. Someone just placed their spare change in the charity collection cup at the grocery store.

25. A small group of friends are sitting around a table sharing funny stories and cheerfully reminiscing about the good old days.

26. Honest people are working for various government entities to help protect your basic human rights and civil liberties.

27. An emergency room surgeon is in the middle of saving his patient’s life.

28. Someone is holding the door open for the person behind them.

29. Someone out there is missing you and looking forward to your next visit.

30. We are reminded that extraordinary things happen to ordinary people, and that there is beauty and wonder in everyday life.


|| 8:23 AM

I am probably the only Chinese girl who hasn't gone for new year shopping.
Parents are leaving me & my siblings at home (again, for how many years already?!) while the lovely pair's heading to Vietnam to explore underground war museums almost immediately after the reunion dinner.
Makes me wonder why the heck my house even has a basket of oranges?!
I mean, the wooden door's gonna be closed, trio's gonna be doing their own sweet stuff.
Probably for us to snack on.
Okay, so they aren't so heartless afterall, they left some snacks for us to feast on.
Great.


Feb's i forsee, is gonna be a bleh month.
March's gonna be a busy one,
April's gonna be a fool

Heh, suddenly has this strange curiosity to check my horoscope. Stars and planets, twinkling in the most amazing way, even though i'm still skeptical, please take your positions.
Let's see...

Okay this is interesting.



There's no need to hurry, & there's no need to sparkle
|| 2:50 AM

It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.
And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."

We go to a party and everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady that's walking around with me.
And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?"
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight."

I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you.

It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head,
So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed.
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,
I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight.
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight."