"Jacqueline Koh
Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting around for somebody to give you flowers"
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dependancy
Saturday, April 30, 2011 || 9:24 AM

One of the most common misconception is that dependency is love. People keep saying, I cant live without my girlfriend, I cant live without my boyfriend. He is my life, she is my life. I will die without her. I can't think how life would be without him.
What I feel is that, what they have described is mostly not love. A better word to describe their situation would be : Parasitism.
When you require another individual for your survival, you are a parasite on that particular person.
Love, is the free exercise of choice.
Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without one another, but chose not to.
I define dependency as the inability to experience wholeness or function adequately without the certainty that one is being cared for by another.
Every single one of us have needs and feelings. All of us have desires to be nurtured, without any efforts on our parts, to be cared for by people stronger than us who have our interests at heart. Too many people are seeking for love, so much so that they have no energy left to love. They will always have an inner emptiness, crying to be filled but can never be filled.
Many people do not really care what their identities are, so long someone gives it to them.
Consequently, their relationships, though seemingly dramatic, is also sadly, shallow.

- Dependency
The road less traveled , Dr Peck

|| 7:01 AM


Busy phase's on the roll now. Quite glad of the processes so far though, everything seems to be on track, balanced proportionately, fitted snugly to the given structure.
Minus the fact that my feet's screaming for some comfort though, been standing and running around too much in my wedges. Relieved that the event at TAB wheezed by, the crowd proving it a success despite some of the minor screw-ups regarding the sound production and my failure to show customized and quality service to certain vendors.
Mmmmhmm, project wise, I guess we're very well driven and ideas are already accepted by our tutor, no short of her support. That's a great start isn't it? ;)
Yes it's only a week into school, and students are already against time for submission. Welcome to Sg's educational system. The push-and-test-your-limits frame of doing things. I embrace this with uh, half open arms? Lol~
Submitted my OSIP form & Lombak's community service application as well.
Decisions, decisions.
The pushing factor is the fact that in life, we have to keep trying, and to achieve dreams and to soar higher, we have to get out of our comfort zones.
I'm willing to do that, I hope the teachers give me a chance.
Can't be a baby lying in my crib forever.

Work, work's been good as usual. Cmon, take a look at my lovely barbarian crew! ;)
Gotta save, save, save, for my dreams, dreams, dreams!
xxx

It's funny how some people can mutter the L word so easily, it's like saying Hey.
Like, Hey.
Hey.
Hey here, hey there.
Hey.


xxx

Celebrated khai's birthday at Neverland. Very very awesome music, and sexy dancers, it's like watching a concert instead.




Till next time :)






Wednesday, April 27, 2011 || 4:36 AM

Heading to an overseas community project in June! Thank you Edusave...
Sigh, what's stopping me from signing up for OSIP...
What's stopping me......
:'(


Tuesday, April 26, 2011 || 9:07 PM

IKEA







Favourite favourite favourite!!! DIAM CAKE! Sweden goodness!

~Takes hat off to the designers/ visual merchandisers
Impressive settings as usual.
Ideal house in future, little cosy flat (3 rm) nicely furnished Mmmmmm~

xxx
Pardon me, I look so ~.~ in the pictures because I was actually down with a fever, and my whole body was aching. I blame Alicia for it because I seem to get sick whenever I'm with her. Hahahahah! Just kidding Aly ;) Yknw i luvvv you :D

My fav pizza from Pastamania, Sesame Corrinder Chicken! & this is the first time I left some slices untouched ... Blame it on the fever.



I was actually observing how many people were carrying Birkins in town, and trust me, Singaporeans are a awfully rich lot, SO MANY people were carrying Birks!
What a symbol of status and wealth.



Monday, April 25, 2011 || 7:26 AM



You know realizations and thoughts come in the most bizarre manners, and hits you at the most unexpected of times?
While i was crossing the road, I saw this old man, and i thought, somebody loves him. It could be his wife, his grandchildren, his children, just somebody. And i saw this young teenage boy with deeply scarred acne. And I thought, somebody loves him. It might be his mother, his girlfriend, just somebody. And as i made my way to my intended destination, I just kept looking out for people, and thinking the exact same thoughts.
It's beautiful, really ;)

Anyway, you know it's a good book when you just can't put it down.
This time round, fate allowed me to chance upon this wonderfully, honest book which discusses things many people find taboo. It's downright straightforward, and many of the spine chilling paragraphs reminds me of conversations I always have with peck. It's no wonder I texted her right away, to share with her this paperback goodness.
The road less travelled - Dr M Scott Peck

I always wanted to keep an idea book of my own, a personal book for me to decorate with meaningful quotes, chunks of words strung too beautifully from books, pictures which seem to have a gleam of thought behind the measly paper or screen, ideas blossoming like flowers in the magnificent yellow sky. And guess what, after years of wanting to do so, I finally, bought the book.

TP's having this overseas trip to Indo to help revamp two retail stores there.
Apparently they only have got one shopping mall in that particular area we're heading to.
Should i, or should i not?

I love Enya, her music keeps me on a constant calm :}


Sunday, April 24, 2011 || 10:22 AM

Been harvesting issues of Nat Geo & Time lately. Kinda felt the urge of keeping up with general knowledge and what's happening around the world. Okay actually i really wanted to chance upon intriguing write ups and feast my eyes on tribes, wide never ending plains, seas, and ancient mummies, but you know, all these seem to come along with the package of politics, 2010 best inventions, technology updates, and science.
Which isn't too bad, even though they're quite impossible to understand at times.
I feel stupid, but never mind, I'll take it slow, at my own pace.

Headed to Popular just now to copy down book titles to add on to my to-read list, and found quite a few great books.
And god, Jodi Picoult is a fast writer, her followers are bloody fast too.
She has another book launched (!!!), and I just went to reserve it online via nlb.gov, and guess what,
I'm exactly + 1 to the bloody 99 in the waiting list.

And guess what's listed on one of 2010's best inventions.
Of course, there's the overrated Ipad. I mean, it's Apple.
There's also spray on fabrics ?!
Apparently they have developed a way to bond and liquidify fibres so that textiles can be sprayed outta a can onto bodies, and after that, you can like, uh, spray different colors onto it as well, to customize. And they're being used on runways now.
Cool.
Spray on condoms, whip cream outta a can, now it's clothes.
LOL

Everybody wants happiness, and nobody wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow, without a little rain
|| 10:06 AM



Kiss the rain


What a lovely piece of music.

Thursday, April 21, 2011 || 11:32 PM


So it's Good Friday today, & all I can think of is the conversation yesterday during supper with a half high man. Somebody was trying very hard to make sense right, Ed? XD
So, went for a jog, collected my new specs, awesome black metal frames, simple and nice, I like.
When i was jogging, a butterfly with blue and yellow wings was fluttering by the glass windows, very beautiful :}

So, I got to know about this particular book (The secret, Rhonda Byrne) which I reserved in the library already, can't wait to feast my soul in it. Fact that reese and rif's stepdad reads it actually means something, credibility plus 100! :D

Rif was talking to me about this place, Luang Prabang, in Laos.
Seems like a wonderful place to explore.


Gushing streams of water in the middle of a forest. There are caves too! Can also swing from ropes to ropes the Tarzan & Jane way!
Awesomeness!


Tuesday, April 19, 2011 || 9:43 PM



you cant blame me! it's 9.42AM!!!

Haha, havent been showing my face to the morning sun, feels good to be having breakfast at the correct time! Xq can drive now, just got back from having the first most important meal of the day with her!

On a lighter note, PS Cafe! Their main course aren't too satisfying, but their dessert is godlike!
Al fresco dining, surrounded by a landscape of greens, it has a very cosy, organic and fresh ambience :>



xxx
After which, on the same day, we headed for JB, for our zi char dinner!

Ready to chiong food anot?! READY!!!!!

Salted Egg Crab
Kang Kong
Cereal prawn, yummmmmmmm
Hoteplate tofu
Sotong Kia
La la
We also ordered egg omeletteeeeee





+ Lok lok
Each person about 15SGD!!!!!!!
Damn funny, in the car we were discussing about DJs, & Dickson said ' Jacq, I prefer it when you're sick, that's when you're reallllly quiet.' (@*#(#!^#(!#^%$
Hahahahah! Cuz i was constantly going like, DJ JACQ IN THE HAUZ YO, BRINGING U THE GREATEST REMIX. HAHAHAHAHAH!


Set me free, from my conditioned set of actions
|| 9:44 AM

Opened a drawer which I always dump movie tickets, letters, sweet notes, journals, folded hearts and stars, etc etc from random people.
It's like a field filled with fallen leaves of different shades of brown, only fancier.
Came across this wallet from a renowned brand, given to me by someone when i was 14.
And i never knew, there was a note inside the zipper compartment.
And this glass bottle, filled with the fluid from lightsticks, presented to me on my doorstep earlier this year. He made sure it was still glowing. His clothes were stained with the fluid, and i remember being very amused about it. Aren't girls supposed to do all of these? Being the meticulous, thoughtful one doing all these supposingly 'gay', sweet handmade stuff.
I remember, all i said was, 'Oh, thanks.', and i continued standing there, thinking, when would i ever go back to the comforts of my bed.



And i realize how much I've taken people for granted.
For all the letters, notes, picture cards, gifts I've never returned, or showed any appreciation,
sorry for your time wasted on a girl, who doesn't know how to reciprocate.


listen to the rain, here it comes again
Monday, April 18, 2011 || 9:19 AM

I never said i love you verbally to anyone before
Really? Not to anyone, anybody?
Yeah....
Oh my god, you are much more fucked up than i am. I said it once, to my pet before.
xxx



Went to the place where i belonged for a special day. Familiar faces, heartwarming gestures, accustomed to the entire proceedings, conditioned a long time back for quite a number of years.
I was praying really hard not to bump into someone, too awkward.
Sigh.

+

Watching a chick flick with uncensored bits at xq's place, gotta pause the vid whenever the mother or brother comes out to the living room, super funny and awkward!




Magical wonders of the dying earth
Friday, April 15, 2011 || 9:06 PM


Mongolia

Ride horseback across wetlands, hike in a dramatic oasis, and watch the sun set on the Flaming Cliffs.

Kenya

Set off in open safari vehicles by day to discover a breathtaking array of animals& gaze at wildlife from the comfort of your private veranda.


Appalachian Trail, East Coast, U.S

A window into the cultural and historical heritage of the longest settled part of the country. It is the oldest of the great long-distance hiking trails, traveling through farm country, centuries-old towns, and storied battlefields. The Appalachian Trail is the ultimate badge of honor, and some 11,600 people have done the whole thing. A storied trail culture has formed, in which thru-hikers earn trail names and local residents and supporters offer "trail magic"–free food, gifts, and other unexpected kindnesses–at many points.

There, in August, if you're lucky, you might spot a few shaggy-haired, bearded thru-hikers taking the last few steps of their journey from Georgia, glimpsing, for the first time, the signposted terminus of the trail. They're almost always in tears.

Java's Volcanoes, Indo

Camp on Rakata Island's shores, soak in hot springs, hike up to peer into craters, and, if they're lucky, watch as an active volcano spews glowing hot lava down its shoulders. They also see the lasting effects of these cataclysmic eruptions, including lunar-like landscapes of ash fields, lava flows, turquoise lakes, steaming craters, and simmering mud pools.


Mexico, Yucatan's Cenotes
Cave diving
Offers a window into the Earth's belly: stalactites formed over millennia hang from the ceiling, fossils hide in the corners, and holes in the rock bring in a laser show of electric blue and green light. Delving deeper into the caves–past the signs with death warnings, skulls, and crossbones–requires an advanced cave diver certification, but no matter. Even within a few hundred feet of the surface, the cenotes offer a glimpse into what the Maya believed were the sacred passageways to the underworld.

|| 1:18 PM



I miss drinking tea, fuck gastric reflux.


Wednesday, April 13, 2011 || 5:47 AM












Tuesday, April 12, 2011 || 11:06 PM

12/04/2011, scare of my life.

Admitted to A&E, reflux attack, entire body was shaking, hands were ice cold, literally gasping for oxygen, felt like someone was mashing on my insides. Fucking horrible feeling, & i was in JB supposingly for dinner with friends. U-turned back to singapore 5 minutes into the trip because the car ride felt like a rollercoaster ride. No kidding. Sigh, thank god for understanding and loving friends. I feel so blissful & loved :'(

It happened late at night, & mummy rushed down with my sis. Sis had a book on one hand, think she was studying for exams or something. :'(

When i saw my mum, i started crying. Tears of comfort, and relief.
<3

I'm still such a big kid, always has been one. Hah, when the doctor wanted to take my blood for a test, and i totally cringed at the sight of needles...
(in chinese)
Mum: Relax....
Me: I'm scared...
Mum: Treat it as a tattoo session, not that i approve of tatts though
Me: But needles for tattoos arent so long
.....









Monday, April 11, 2011 || 10:02 AM


What makes a conversation?
Voices get swept up at the ends of my vocal cords, pushed back to my inner self.
Do you ever had this phase, whereby, you really have nothing to talk about. In the company of people, you are absorbed in your own trail of thoughts, thoughts which seemed to come from nowhere, have no specific source, random bits and pieces your brain is picking on from everywhere. And you, are chewing on them, while silently appreciating presence of that someone else. You have no idea how to share that particular jumble of mental process.
If this is presented into tangible objects, it would represent a splash of potpourri.