"Jacqueline Koh
Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting around for somebody to give you flowers"
February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 February 2013 June 2013 June 2014 January 2015 April 2015

Saturday, May 28, 2011 || 9:49 AM

Foccacia Bread, Parsley(LUVVV), Baby Carrots, Bagel w cream cheese...
How many seemingly best & unforgettable days of your life took a twist & actually turned out to be your worst?
Love wearing platforms, but I seek pleasure in the comfortable good old slippers any time.
Opening packages are like giving yourself a surprise, because most of the time, you
forget what you buy. My 2 pairs of platforms just arrived, waiting to collect my babies :D
I hope they're comfortable...

'Why does this milo popsicle taste funny? It's a little bitter.'
'*whispers* I added vodka in, wanna make the bosses drunk'

Whiskey was poured on my head by a boss. Gingerale, soda water, sprite was dispensed and
sprayed in the entire bar to the delight of customers who joined in the water/beer/wine fight.
I was thrown in the ice bucket.....
My legs were numb....
A customer hugged 3 bottles of wine and ran away...
Free shots given to the crew by customers.
90% of the crew was drunk (except for me,azri & yeemay)... Glasses were smashed, dropped because most can't walk straight...

More happening than full moon party in my humble opinon.

Converse was definately a good buy, the smile and excitment couldnt be faked.
I just hoped I bought the correct size :\

But the best thing is,
a little toddler came up to me and say
'You'd be my most favourite person in the world if you give me that balloon.'
Which I did :D

3 more weeks, to diving.
FUCK YEAH BABY

xxx

p.s/ did someone just say 'Can you please laugh seriously?'
Whuvvvvvtttttttttttttt?






Wednesday, May 25, 2011 || 7:44 AM

I think I'm very fortunate...
to have such a spread for breakfast.





& a best friend who understands and tolerates me...


I think i might have the next few years of my life planned out.
I think, my life's pretty on track :)



Tuesday, May 24, 2011 || 10:04 AM


Which idiot fails her BTT & walks into the wrong cinema theater?





Sunday, May 22, 2011 || 9:13 AM



Slapped on pricky heat powder before heading out, I'd rather be seen in patches of white than to endure the sweltering heat. Seriously, it's too much for me to handle. Made me grumpy too!
Aaaah vendors who signed up for events, please please please dont take your own sweet time to payyyyyyy :(
Makes my admin work so frustrating. Even though I can fully understand it's just a human thing to feel secure only to hand over monetary debts at the end of the route. I'm like this too, but when I am the one doing the admin work, PAY UP!!!!!

Sidetracking, I still can't believe there's someone who earns, 3k.
EVERY SINGLE DAY.
So it's about 90k/ month?
He can say and literally mean ' My pay check will be going to a new Lexus!'

Came across this quote from one of the most amazing (because of his avant garde style of performing) theatrical actor - Samuel Beckett
' Try Again. Fail Again. Fail Better.'
His famous style of performing - repetition is deemed weird, crazy and boring by many (I caught a teacher sleeping through one 'inspired by Beckett' performance.
And i thought, this dude is fucking crazy.
And fucking boring.
And everyone else seemed to think that way too. And everybody grumbled about this fucking crazy performance.
But you know what, this style of theatre, influenced by him, is one of the only two performances I can remember amongst the rest I've seen.
To be honest, 60 mins, broken down into 4 or 5 different sets, each set portraying one or two characters doing the same thing over and over again is actually very very fascinating.
And it gives me the creeps.
The kind of creep which will leave me thinking, after the entire day.
And to think about it, his portrayal of human life actually very brutally honest.
Repetition - reflects how Beckett views human culture, and he is damn bloody courageous to launch such a style - 'Theatre of the Absurd'
Kudos to this man.

xxx

Was using the other computer to do events stuff, and my brother's msn is on. Check out the conversation I had with his friend.
Hwa Chong students.....

(Click to enlarge)
Would love to revisit econs sometime soon ;)

xxx

Sigh, I should remind myself that I shall not, will not, and must not hurt others along the way to getting what I want.
Karma's a bitch, if you're.
And i think i believe in this what goes around, comes around philosophy of life.


Saturday, May 21, 2011 || 1:00 PM

It's 4am & I just got back from work.
Switched on the computer only to do my daily financial update for events, but ibanking's site's up for maintenance. So apparently i can't fulfill this daily routine of mine - submit updates before I crash to bed. So here I am, blogging.
Lol, there's this regular at bar bar who is always seen doing pretty obscene stuffs considering he has a wife and 2 kids. Of course he does it behind her back, which devil would show his horns?
And today for some reason, he came down to have dinner with his family, and his attitude is a major change, so decent ah suddenly, so polite also. Wow ~.~
Suddenly he had to double confirm whether the plain basmati rice was plain basmati rice (fucking obvious please steam fucking rice who dont know?)
Plus he has been eating it for as long as he has been staying there. Zzzz God.

xxx
Had a conver with a friend, she said while her ex husband was travelling overseas for Army, while packing his bag, she prepared some condoms for him too. She said she was being practical and that she'd rather her ex husband fucked safely, then him bringing back all sorts of diseases to her.

xxx

I think my stress's & anxiety's subconscious. I think I'm okay but my body thinks otherwise.
This can be confirmed with the level of acidity and amount of pimples breaking out.

xxx

Something's wrong, & I'm gonna talk it out.

So tired, gonna crash. Nights! (Errr, good morning?)

Friday, May 20, 2011 || 9:53 PM


Since I don't like dairy milk,
I shall go grab some soy milk
for my
HONEY STARS!


'I need to go somewhere, where I can actually, MARVEL at something.'
Goosebumps inducer.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011 || 8:58 AM

"Everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colors, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night."

A suspicion that the moon might smell like cheese if I go close enough...

xxx

Been what, 4/5 years?
It's fucking amazing how people can remember things.

Oh Hana!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011 || 9:38 AM


1. I grab & go while shopping. I screen through items like how I proof read sometimes.
He thinks and thinks and thinks and does more bloody thinking.

2. I realize my brother is not only a genius in Maths. He is also a chemistry genius.

3. Found out that he'd be interested in pursuing a Chemical Engineering degree.

I am very pleasantly surprised to hear an answer which consist of 'they are not able to differentiate themselves', when I asked his opinon of why Scape isn't substantial. My brother is someone who doesn't give two hoots about shopping. I didnt even know he knows Scape even exists.
Wow, very impressed.

I can't believe I learnt so much after talking to my brother. I am amazed.

Plus, he knows the 8-gua issue to our 1$ coin. Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwww ~.~

This Vesak day holiday made me understand my brother a gulf deeper. I am happy :)






Sunday, May 15, 2011 || 8:57 AM




I'm lovin my demin overalls!

Busy busy sunday
Spent the entire afternoon sitting at Nex's starbucks with a Venti sized hot chocolate (only option I've got since I've officially quit tea & coffee)& a lovely bagel which got a little too hard after cooling off in the air. Very productive, done all the assignments which needed to be done, discussed projects which needed to be discussed.

After that, rushed off to have dinner with some of freemansland's crew. Didn't know tucked away from the main streets is this absolutely zen condo, Banyan Tree style.
Very fufilling dinner, thank you.

Sigh, I know i'm writing in random chunks, bear with me.
I'm done with my previous book! One of the best books ever written on Earth hands down.
I don't really remember details specifically, but when you know you understand the concept and rough idea the author preaches to you, you just got it.
You just got his part of mind.
It's like, econs.
Now it's time to move on for another's insight
and some sleep
;)

Mind's not functioning already.

Tomorrow's gonna be hetic as well, but whatever it is, I will never never neglect alone time.
That's far too important ;)






Saturday, May 14, 2011 || 7:15 PM


1. Proj meeting
2. RI assignment
3. Dinner w freemansland's new owner
4. Proj research

~.~

On a brighter note, got my demin corset + demin suspenders.
Yaaaaaaay?
Urgh.
Curled & dyed my hair btw, not much of a diff right?

|| 8:56 AM


I'm falling apart.

Friday, May 13, 2011 || 10:08 AM




Wonder how I was able to get through tutorials with only an hour of sleep.
Was pretty stoned throughout the hours in school.
Sigh, so many projects on hand. It sucks having the feeling of needing to clear the clutter piling up mentally. Plus an event for a certain module.
Can't figure out how I'm going to tide through internship, if I don't get OSIP, I really can't forsee myself working 5 or god forbids (6) days a week, with a fixed time, a schedule (omfg, a fucking schedule, fuck routines!!!!) retail hours. Salute those who are able to tolerate all of these.

So damn tired, but it's the last year. I'd be missing all of these when i graduate, so let me try to
filter out the bits of joy I can find in this madness. Very fine, comes in the tiniest of forms & absolutely difficult to perceive though.
.

I'm never a fan of ruffles, but I think this white dress is dope.




Tuesday, May 10, 2011 || 6:32 PM


Very long post.
|| 9:50 AM


I wouldn't go into detail what a wonderful dinner I had today, but I shall share how miraculous & how fate bound our friendship together. My childhood friend, since I was 5. 14 years of zoning in and out, but what matters most is, if she's here in the end with me.

Went to the same tuition center in primary school. You kept asking me which PAP i was from. I kept replying you, Hougang's PAP. I was in Hougang PAP when I was 6. You kept asking me, really meh? Because you feel I look familiar. I kept replying the same answer, Hougang PAP!
Then i went home to ask my mum, she said when I was 5, I was from Paya Lebar's PAP, transferred when i was 6 to Hougang.

So i told you, I was from Paya Lebar PAP, and apparently, we were from the same class, even from the same clique. I even dug up an old picture. But now it's stashed somewhere, I'm sure if i go and dig it, I'd be able to find it! But not now lol, it's 1AM.

So, our friendship was kinda bleh, nothing too interesting. You knew me as the little scrawny girl with the retarded haircut, and I knew you as the tomboy. We met twice every week, for tuition. Bonded by same circumstances, LOL. Sometimes i meet you only once a week because you are always skipping tuition!!!

You quitted tuition for a few years. We had no contact because I didnt have a phone then, & we were too young to hang out properly. My pocket money was 1$ per day, yours was 5$, i could remember being insanely jealous and angry with my mother lol. You could afford to buy alot of tidbits lol, i could only buy a packet of potato chips. 1$ a day how to save and go town together?!
I didn't even know where's Orchard la! Hahaha, I was in my Hougang and the park downstairs world.

And then, you kinda faded away from my memory. Then, you rejoined tuition again when you were in Upper Primary. Lol~~~~ I remember once a year Mrs Neo would have an outing with the class. She would give us 10$ each and bring us to Cineyleisure -____- I remember taking neoprints with you & May. I remember constantly fighting with you over who to sit outside because I was afraid of May. Lol. Kept pushing you inside >.< And you'd keep teasing me about how greedy I am, keep asking tidbits and sweets from Mrs Neo and how I keep pinching Mrs Chua. You still remember her anot ?! Our friendship took off to a higher level then, by playing block catching, you coming to my birthday party, giving me a huge dog plushie which you kept complaining because you wouldnt wanna be seen with such a gay item. LOL! I remember during the party, you couldnt click with one of my friend - Rachel Kam. Lol, both of you were quarreling over water balloons or something. You were the fast athelete, the cool girl, and i was still the nerdy little scrawny girl, who thought the word - er xin was vugular.

Seriously, why were you friends with me? We are so frigging different!

Still, in primary school, you'd call me on my HOUSE phone, and asked me out. Which I'd have to persuade my mother for HOURS, before we could hang out properly together, to somewhere, say, Ciney? U brought me to sakae sushi I think, and i was like, screening through the menu, looking for the cheapest item to buy~ And then, we would take neoprints, go to the arcade, and watch a movie.

And then, you quitted tuition again.

By then, I had friendster, which you had as well. We kinda, kept in contact over there, and when I reached secondary 1, when I had a handphone. We communicated in an easier form.
I remember you bugging me to go to Cedar Girls, because you were there. My parents were very against me going to that particular school though, although I wanted to go there because the uniform looked damn cool. Because I was in Anderson, we always met in Toa Payoh to have lunches, and study. I think what kept our friendship going was the amount of years we have already knew one another. You were so damn bubbly, and active in sports events. I was the half way in between loser, nowhere here, nowhere there. A xiao ah lian in the becoming. I have a neoprint of us, me with my errr, half spiky long hair?! ?!?!?!?!?!

We didnt have anything sustainable to keep our friendship going. Drifted all the way, till I was 15 or 16. O Level period, both of us maturing, we could talk about choices in the future, the path of life we want to take on, life interests, blah blah blah. Went to the same tuition, AGAIN.
Studied together, now, it's more of me approaching you to consult on studies. Because i was playful, and once I didnt grasp the concept and had my foundation, I was struggling. We met quite often to study.

17& 18& 19, U were in AJC, & I was in TP. Went through quite a bit of stuff together. I am glad, I'm here for you when terrible things happened. Even though we arent the type of friends who will meet every week, or every month, but whenever I need someone to talk to, or fall back on, I know you'd always be there :) Because you have always been & I will keep trying to.
It's heartwarming how different and mature you turned out to be because a few years back, I'd never imagine myself talking to you like how i did a few hours before. The views we have on life, the way we handle our situations, how frank you can be with me. All these, is truly a privilege :)


I have my name in your name.
Miss Ling Yu ;)







Monday, May 9, 2011 || 7:24 AM







xxx





xxx

I love how I'm able to spend quality time with important people, yet not compromising the need for myself to spend quiet moments & getting things done :)

It has been a pretty bad week, but i guess i'll tide through this, as always, as usual, as life is.
Was running halfway, went to the toilet to have a good cry. It feels good, releasing myself emotionally. And after the tears, I'm able to see and feel more clearly again.
Jacq, it's okay, take everything at your own pace. Everything at your own pace..

Saturday, May 7, 2011 || 10:15 PM

I'm really ruining relationships with people by the way I treat them, and by the words I use, and by the tone of voice, by the arrogant and ignorant attitude I have. I'm really.... sigh.
Jacq, time to reflect, time for some change.
People wouldnt take your bullshit forever, you know that?

Friday, May 6, 2011 || 10:42 PM

Another blow, thank you very much.
Seriously, thank you so fucking much.
I feel like, this is my karma.


I want a pair of demin overalls&some red shoes
Thursday, May 5, 2011 || 3:20 AM



Credits: Bryanboy


Wednesday, May 4, 2011 || 9:29 AM

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
& let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shore of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
but are still a part.
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.


p.s / Imysoml,ticsbwyh :)

Tuesday, May 3, 2011 || 3:19 AM


Monday, May 2, 2011 || 5:48 AM

I was talking to my dad about a certain issue, brought up a business idea to him which I thought has demand. And he advised me against it because it is not right, even though it is not illegal as well.
And then i placed this upon my own context, and i realize, how impossible this is going to work for me.


Sunday, May 1, 2011 || 7:13 AM

30th April @ Tab.
Lovely friends who came down to support ;)
Bumped into Jingqiu, my table desk buddy when i was 14. Wow, 5 years have since passed.
Always seem to be running into old friends during events. Well, young people love the flea culture i guess. It's both cheap and chic.






xxx