"Jacqueline Koh
Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting around for somebody to give you flowers"

Sunday, July 1, 2012 || 6:59 AM

It seems like I am slowly combing the shelves of the library by jumping around from sections to sections. There was a time when I was always found sitting on the carpeted floor of the self help section (where I discovered James Frey & Rhonda Byrne & M Scott Peck = my three unsung heroes), then I hopped over to the Literature section where the flowery words really fucked my mind upside down, and when I realized I really did not have a knack for poems and haikus (what's the diff?!) which are shorter than my palm. Novels anytime, please! Moved on to the wooden shelves which stored ghostly deeds of prisoners, explored psychology for abit and now it's travel stories. Code 910.4! Initially wanted to recline in a quiet corner and finish a book about the flaws of science and doctors, but ended up lugging home 4 other books - all compilations of personal recounts. Mostly put together by Lonely Planet. It's an amazing section really, it encompasses so many aspects, from kindness to survival skills, and the grainy exciting bits about venturing into uncharted territories.

It's a section of passion. For every single story, I realize what goes through my mind is hopelessly similar - 'I wish, I was the one going through this.'

Sigh, the world is really my oyster.

Human differences should really be embraced as enriching, rather than threatening.

If only more people could see that, we would definitely go a long way towards creating a world graced, interlaced with peace and opportunities.

And reading such stories really kicked me in the gut.

I did some research about certain organizations, and I actually sent in applications to be a volunteer in Kenya. And guess what, I got accepted.

Will not be pursuing this dream first though, because even dreams have line-ups, and unfortunately, there are more in the platter at the moment.

To be able for me to accomplish certain dreams, some things need to be done first.

And sometimes, the 'some things' might not be what I want, but they are absolutely necessary.

My dad asked me how work was, and I told him it's really enjoyable, but sometimes I feel a little tired. Maybe because I am in the process of getting used to being in full time work. He told me never to mention the word 'tired' ever again, not even to them, because it is a reflective measure of being weak, and it is absolutely not accepted.

His words might seem to be a little harsh, but I absolutely agree with him, and from today onwards, such negative words will be permanently deleted from my dictionary. No more, because these are barriers to what I would want to achieve in the future.

Weaklings will not achieve what they want if they have such floppy mindsets and determination.

Only the strong survives.